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Julesd's personal blog (2 unread)

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Baby elephant operation

Posted: January 21st, 2012, 10:37am UTC by julesd

Poor Lola. I hope the operation goes well.
Soppy bollocks SOPA

Posted: January 18th, 2012, 9:51am UTC by julesd

Well done, America… The land of the free. I’m not blanking out my site for SOPA or PIPA, as I am a UK citizen, but here is a nice picture….
Somedays

Posted: January 2nd, 2012, 3:17am UTC by julesd

How I feel after the first day of 2012!
Traditional (not) Borneo Pygmy Elephant Curry Recipe

Posted: December 9th, 2011, 12:34pm UTC by julesd

Ingredients /nutrition

1 tbsp coriander
1/2 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp aniseed
1/2 tbsp peppercorns
2 cloves
2 1/2 tbsp butter
5 thinly sliced garlic cloves
10 thinly sliced shallots
2 cinnamon sticks
2 cardamoms
1/2 nutmeg
1 stalk lemon grass
3 kaffir lime leaves
2 pieces dried sour fruit
1 kg (not) borneo pygmy elephant, cut into bite size pieces (but rather, good local lamb)
650 cc thin coconut milk
250 cc thick coconut milk
300 g quartered potatoes
salt to taste

Methods / instructions

To prepare spice paste, add the first 5 ingredients from the list in a food processor or blender. Grind to form a smooth fine paste.

Heat up butter and saute garlic and shallots until golden brown

Add in spice paste and remaining ingredients.

Cook until (not) pygmy elephant is cooked and sauce thickens.

Serve hot.

Servings: 4

This recipe is intended as a joke. Never ever cook it with elephant meat of any kind. Always replace “Pygmy Elephant” with a farmed animal meat from your local area, rather than using an endangered species. I suggest Lamb. You could probably make it from just vegetables, if you are vegetarian. But never from a pygmy elephant. Or any other elephant for that matter. The reason I am posting this as a (not) Pygmy Elephant recipe is because when you google “pygmy elephant” it directs you to my blog, where I once made a joke. I figure, as long as I inform you that Borneo Pygmy Elephants are endangered and that you can adopt one through the WWF and that this recipe should never be used on Pygmy Elephant meat and that I am only joking, we are ok. No doubt I will get a torrent of abuse in the form of various bad mouthing comments, from people who cannot read a full blog post, or who choose to glide past the ‘not’ in brackets. Well, good for them. Enjoy your meal!
Make Coldplay History (Again)

Posted: December 1st, 2011, 11:23pm UTC by julesd

As we are approaching christmas time again, I feel I have to re-iterate an issue that I first mentioned in a post on this blog nearly 5 years ago.

Christmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. The suicide rate is higher during December than any other month, which tells us that Christmas depression should be taken quite seriously. Depression at Christmas time can be triggered by a multitude of things, such as losses, failures loneliness and worst of all, Coldplay.

Their constant dirge and relentless blandness is claiming the souls of young children across the world. Children who have a basic human right to happiness. Their lyrics are meaningless, they lack real emotion and their music is about as grey as music can be.

With current financial and economic problems causing problems all over the world, rising unemployment, climate issues, increasing civil unrest and uncertain futures, the last thing the world needed was another Coldplay album.

Please take care, protect your children and do what ever you can to stop this epidemic from growing any further. If your watching a TV program and they use Coldplay as their backing track, turn over. If you are in a pub or a supermarket and you begin to hear Coldplay over the PA, leave immediately. If you cannot leave, make sure the staff at the venue are aware of this issue too. If you are with your children and you hear Coldplay, cover their ears. Children’s hearing is much more acute than adults and they may be damaged for life if they accidentally catch this tonal stream of dirty bath water.

And if you see Chris Martin over the Christmas period, please tell him to ‘STOP RELEASING ALBUMS AND SINGLES AND NEVER TOUR AGAIN YOU ANNOYING PRICK!‘ from me There is just no need for it.
Friday night win Boris Bikes pt7

Posted: November 25th, 2011, 4:16pm UTC by julesd

Finally, a boris bike win. The lady in the hi-viz was filling up this bike station.
Triple whammy Boris Bikes pt6

Posted: November 25th, 2011, 9:40am UTC by julesd

Guess what this mornings rant is about? Before I start… Boris, sort it out. Your bike scheme is a wonderful idea but the way it is implemented makes you look like an even bigger bafoon.

Today I took the charring cross branch of the nothern line to see if the west end is any better than the city for boris bikes. It isn’t. I found the station easily enough. There were 2 bikes there. I tested the back wheels span on both, they were fine. Put my card in the machine, got a release ticket, and tried to release a bike. Same flashing orange light bollocks I got the other day. On both bikes.

So, I found the next station. Just two streets away, plenty of bikes, put card in machine. Fail.

Could not get a ticket for 10 mins like the other day. Bollocks.

I finally got a ticket, released a bike and headed out on my journey. When I got to where I was going, the dock station was full. Bollocks. Wasted another 5 minutes looking for somewhere to dock, and another 5 walking back to where I wanted to be. Bollocks.

In conclusion, I would have been better off walking. Well done Boris for encouraging people out of their cars, off public transport and onto their feet.

From now on, I re-dub ‘boris bikes’ to ‘bollocks bikes’. Like I said, a smart idea realised by a foolish system.
Subterfuge Boris Bikes pt5

Posted: November 24th, 2011, 11:17am UTC by julesd

With the amount of posts I have made about Boris Bikes recently, I thought now was a good time to dig out this shot I took barely a week after the scheme was originally launched.
Disappointing Boris Bikes pt4

Posted: November 24th, 2011, 9:47am UTC by julesd

Again, I feel like Boris’s Bikes have failed me. I walked out of Angel tube station, spotted a single bike in the stands and whacked my card in the machine. It printed me a ticket, which I tried to release the lonely cycle with. To my dismay, the cycle was locked in with a red light. Not available. I fired up the boris bike app on my mobile and headed for the next bike station. Of course, the boris bike system thought it had given me a release code so would not release another until 10 minutes were up. Once again, the bikes had held me up.
Blazing saddles : Boris Bikes pt3

Posted: November 22nd, 2011, 5:38pm UTC by julesd

Determined not to be beaten, I tried a Boris Bike again this evening. I rode all the way from Rosebury Av to the edge of the BB map at Oval and totally enjoyed it. I have never ridden a bike in London before, and have not really ridden since I got a driving license. I might have to buy one to go work on!